Watching Over You

And just like that, summer is over.

Since our home is on wheels it allows one thing: Flexibility.

When you are a pioneer, flexibility is essential.

We were blessed to be able to come home in between surgeries. We needed our kids, and they needed us. This special time allowed us the past few weeks to detox from socialwatching media and replace it with campfires, walks, talks, laughter, hugs, reconnecting with treasured friends, along with tying the knots on many lose ends in our adventurous lifestyle of this unfolding miracle.

Figuring out school, work, getting our daughter off to college, along with many other routine things in our un-routine life. We needed time to take care of ourselves, put the oxygen mask on us, so we can carry on our purpose and help others.

Derek looks amazing. But there’s nothing new there. He always does. And I know my Derek, he is blushing reading this. That’s why I love him so much. He’s humble.

The past month, his awakening continues on the right side (side of surgery). However, it’s as if  his left side symptoms are worsening. We started out to get a job done, and will not stop until this miracle is completely unfolded.

Please mark Oct 12th on your calendars and boldly pray with me that Derek IS healed!For his miracle WILL unfold.

Though his head is still in turmoil, we are seeing the positive effects of the first surgery. To not have both sides of your head screaming at you allows him to last longer in situations.

What has truly been a blessing is after all these years of searching for answers and solutions, we have discovered more solutions to help him on a greater level with his remaining symptoms. Allowing him to have more quality of life. He is sleeping better, has more energy, and most of all, he has that beautiful smile again more often.

I’m embarrassed to admit that even I was horribly struggling. I was on auto pilot for so long, that I had lost touch with that fact I couldn’t sleep anymore, was fatigued all the time, had horrible  hidden anxiety and couldn’t focus on anything.  The past couple of months, we made some changes and I’m blown away by the results of my changes.  I have regained my strength, am sleeping through the night and feel amazing.

God gave us the tools that we needed and is preparing us to go back into battle.

Derek has made it to two of Gavin’s soccer game. May not seem like to much to most people, but to me it is awesome to have him sitting next to me on the bleachers. For that seat has often been empty for years.

Even though rides in cars, travel, any ounce of physical activity, daily living, all the things I take for granted, are still 100x harder for Derek, the man never complains. To look at Derek on the outside, most would think he is back to normal.  When inside his head, the left side screams at him.  His will to beat this motivates me every day. To believe. To trust. To live life to the fullest.

We are meeting other people with SSCD from his online support group. To have support with people who experience 24/7 dizziness, horrific sound sensitivity, migraines, depilating fatigue, it is a comfort to at least have answers and know why their bodies feel this way. And to be able to encourage them is healing for me.

And that brings me to my thought for today.

To have to repeat this surgery, naturally brings a sense of great anxiousness for Derek and I. Derek’s case is unique because of all the damage that has been created from previous surgeries. Will this surgery work on the damage side of Derek’s head is the question that wants to haunt us.

But we are not the only ones in this season.

It seems that so many of us are in a season of anxiousness.

From hurricane Irma, back to school anxiety, relationship struggles, illness, to what seems like unanswered prayers, stress is attempting to hit us all hard, right in the gut.

Almost every parent I talk to is already complaining about their calendar that is busting at the seams of busy schedules- and it’s only the beginning of September. Tearful over seeing children off to kindergarten, middle school, high school, or college. For the college student, stress of wondering what career path to take. Parents fearful that our kids remain safe, and fit in at school. Students fearful of the peer pressure and the culture we parents have created that they need to have everything figured out by age 18. Empty houses from college students leaving. Regrets that we should have spent more time with our children. Evacuations from the hurricane. Fear over the potential devastation and loss. Patients suffering from chronic, long term everyday sickness.

Anxious. Stress. Fear. Worry. Regret.

These are words that haunt every parent, student, and every single person.
I am no different. These same words, hover over me too. But let me shed some light onto this darkness.

When we took our daughter to college, her roommate’s dad wrote on the their door:

Naturally this made me laugh. But then at the same time gave me great comfort knowing that anyone who read that, would have a sense of fear put in them. A good fear. A fear that these girls are covered and protected by their Dads.

Got me thinking that its the same for all of us.

Our heavenly Father is watching over all of us. He is watching YOU.

What a comfort to know that no matter what stress and anxiousness we have going on, we are covered. Someone is always watching over us. That thought wipes all those negative dark words of anxious, stress, fear and regret away.

Looking back at the past almost five years of our life, I don’t look anymore at what we have lost.

It’s more about what we have gained.

We traded up in my mind.

Large home for our 400 square foot home on wheels. Crazy schedule for more family time. Replacing regrets with risks. Proclaiming miracles and abundance over worry, sickness, medical bills, and uncertainty.

Here’s the one thing I regretted for a long time. And I want to share all of this with you because maybe, one person will read this and learn from my own regret.

Don’t let a tragedy or illness force you to slow down or finally do all the things you really wanted to do in life. If your calendar is so full that you find yourself complaining without even realizing it, then maybe it’s time to truly downsize. If you are really unhappy in your life with whatever you have going on, change. If you have a dream that is still waiting to be fulfilled: ACT ON YOUR DREAMS!

Change starts with YOU. Not the other person.
I’m not saying you have to live in a camper. Or become someone you are not.

I want to encourage you to become exactly who God intended you to be.

The world has taught us that our kids will be left behind if we don’t put them in every sport, club, music program, and extra activity. Our culture has programmed us that appearance is more important than the heart. Social media has taught us to capture perfection instead of reality. Kindness is often replaced with harshness. Snapchat makes everything disappear. Making it easy to be mean even cruel to someone and then let it vanish. Parents feel that they are cruel if they say ‘just say NO.’ That they will hurt their child’s feelings.

But what if its more cruel to not say no in the long run?

It’s our responsibility to teach the future. If we don’t start standing up for what is right, we are encouraging bad behavior.

We are often ask what’s next for our family. Our answer is always the same:

We have absolutely no idea!

The future will look like exactly as God wants it to. All we know is that Oct. 12th is going to be a day of liberation for Derek.

You can almost read people’s thoughts when we say this by the look on their faces.

‘How can you live like that?’

I once thought I had to have a plan and strategy in everything I did. And when I could no longer have that control in my life,

I mourned my old way of life horribly- for a long time.

But funny how time and circumstances change you.
Now, I laugh at my old way of life and think what a complete idiot I was.

Because I’m more present now. Dream more. Act more. Take risks.
I don’t have all the answers. All I know is when we acted on faith miraculous things started happening in our life.

Hardest thing I ever had to do. Give up control. Surrender and became willing to let God take over and just believe.

The result was: when we acted, God acted.
But it took time. Things didn’t happen over night.

Noah’s ark wasn’t built in a day.

Our encouragement to you is let go of the anxiousness.

Replace it with KNOWING that someone IS watching over you.

Sarah Hein, The Pioneer


2 thoughts on “Watching Over You”

  1. Been praying all along but I’ll be directing prayers your way more than ever October 12. Be strong in your faith as I know you are. Love, lynn


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