Years ago, a dear friend sent me a magnet for my fridge with this quote on it. For years, I saw this magnet everyday.Reading this simple thought multiple times a day, over the course of 7 years, changed my thinking. Which has led to changing my life.
The definition of fail, is to end without success. To fall short of success or achievement in something expected, attempted, desired, or approved.
Think about this concept. If you knew that you couldn’t fail, what would you do with your life? What if your life could actually end with success?
Upon my recent move, I read this quote one last time, and packed it in a box. Closing the lid, I knew that the words have been imprinted onto my heart.
The past 6 weeks, it is no hidden secret, have been grueling. Waiting. Another season of silence. Reflection. Many days, I wished the time away. Wishing that time was like a button on a DVD player. Fast forward over these days, and get to the good stuff.
What’s six weeks, when you have been waiting for over four years for an answer.
Having had to prepare all of Derek’s medical records, reviewing again countless doctors visits around the country. Theories, opinions of what is wrong with Derek. Words that spoke of failure. No successful ending.Unanswered questions. Hopelessness. Loss. Failure seemed all around me.
Didn’t make me feel much like attempting anything at all.
When you cannot do much, that box called the T.V. comes on. Watching the news unfold, the turmoil that surrounds us all, most certainly wasn’t positive. No matter what your political views or beliefs are, no one seems to be winning. No successful ending in sight.
Then I open something called the bible. Interesting stories about ordinary disqualified people overcoming what is humanly impossible.
A basket of bread and fish feeds over 5000 people. An army of 300 wins over tens of thousands. A poor unwed teenager gives birth to a King. Not just any king. The KING of kings. A sea, a huge body of water actually parts. Dry ground revealed. A servant boy David, defeats a giant named Goliath, with a slingshot and rock. Really? Some dude named Noah, built a giant boat in his front yard. Talk about a weirdo. A dead guy rises from the dead. Not like a zombie in an action packed thriller. But a man literally rises up from the dead like he never died and goes on living.
Great stories aren’t that? But if you don’t believe in the bible, its just an interesting book, with fairy tales that Hollywood uses and distorts with computer images.
Instead you believe in man made science. Hollywood. Granted there are some really smart people out there. And some amazing Emmy worthy movies. But the really smart people always seem to end up fighting with other smart people. No one is ever on the same page. Hollywood sure does a lot of masking with computer imaging distorting the real picture. Masked smart people is what I come away with it all.
At the end of the day, it still leaves you questioning. Not being able to make sense what it impossible to make sense of. Science is always changing. Theories proved wrong and then new theories are born. A hamster in a wheel always chasing after human truths which are merely opinions of people.
Reading Derek’s medical records was like reading the newspaper. Depressing. Failure. Uncertainty. No end in sight. Permanent. Like Derek was a theory of science.
On the doubt filled days, I read what I wrote over 6 weeks ago.
The blog “The Unfolding Miracle”.
Here’s the truth. I was not even going to send out that blog because what if there was nothing to this? What if this was just another dead end. A failure. no successful ending in sight.
But the reality is I witnessed something that was unexplained. Unbelievable.Something not humanly possible. Could it just be luck, fate or chance?
Or could it be…. a miracle unfolding?
Sending out the blog meant that even though I didn’t know the ending, I believed in something greater than my uncertainties. FAITH.
To my amazement, thousands have read it. Thousands. And more are reading it every day. Talk about pressure of people watching your life in a fish bowl and putting yourself out there with no uncertainties.
I can’t help but to wonder, if this is what Noah felt a bit like, or Mary. Even Gideon.
Fear wanted to creep back in. Naturally right?
Fear or Faith is what I had to choose.
These past 6 weeks, a decision was once again made.
I would rather put my trust in the most published book in the world, written over the course of hundreds of years by multiple people, of unexplained, unbelievable circumstances that all led to impossible situations that became possible.
Everything led to revealing the exact same message.
This is something humanly scientifically not possible. All because unqualified people gave complete dependence on someone called GOD.
With faith, you cannot fail.
Watching Derek the past six weeks, his symptoms have gotten worse. Pressure in his head has increased. I’m watching him deteriorate before my eyes. With no reason why. Living out of suitcases for 2 months now, is getting really old. Great uncertainty of our future lies all around us.
And yet, we have been blessed each step of the way. Yes, I said blessed. The times I wanted to quit, through in the towel HE extended his hand out to me through the most random people. Miracle upon miracle.
Someone would reach out. A treasured friend made me laugh till I cried happy tears. Places to live have appeared out of nowhere. Plane tickets.Not to mention a top specialist in the country sitting right before me at a church.
Time with our family. Letting go of the chaotic chasing of life, and instead a life of…
“Be silent. Be still.”
We are blessed us beyond measure. And pictures do speak a thousand words.
Virtual schooling our son Gavin has been the best thing ever.Derek became his art teacher. Built a model airplane with him. Spending real quality time with our daughters and granddaughter, equals priceless moments. Surrounding ourselves around all the people that really matter.
A career that I can pack in a bag and take with me where I go. A team of business partners that are independent and walk a faith walk in their own lives as well.
Blessing upon blessing has showered upon us. All the things that have really mattered have surfaced. Things that didn’t matter, where just that, things that didn’t matter.
And no matter how crappy Derek feels, he refuses to stop living. Even if it means living equals days of brutal setbacks with horrific symptoms.
Skies came on. That’s right. I said skies. Determined to ski with his family and teach his nephew Harper and niece Madigan how to ski.
In this time of reflection, I have humbly learned He was and IS still refining my family for what is yet to come. Reminding us that miracles will only happen when you let go of all control. And put complete dependence on Him.
For it is time. You see no matter what happens in the days to come, this is already a success story. A multitude of miracles.
Though I do not understand all that our family has endured, or why any of you are suffering so deeply on multiple levels, this is what I DO know.
With God’s hand upon all of our shoulders, complete dependence and surrendering to HIM… anything is possible.
Failure is not an option.
It will only be possible for miracle upon miracle to surround us.
We leave on Tuesday. If you believe just a little or you believe a lot. I will take any belief you have have.
Believe with us, that whatever is yet to come for Derek,
his healing will be nothing short of a Noah, David, Mary, Gideon, Lazarus kind of miracle.
Pray for my sweet Whitney who has had a flare up of horrific pain that has resurfaced from her previous injury. Formerly resulting in 3 bulging herniated discs. Literally right before we are leaving, she has come home from college suffering horribly again.Pray for the pain to literally vanish from her body and restoration take place.
Pray for Gavin who is 14 and has more compassion, empathy and work ethic than most grown men I know and will be staying with his Nana and Papa for this next phase of our journey. He has had to give up so much of young life, and never EVER complains. His best friend, is his dog Snickerdoodles. The two are unstoppable.
Pray for Alex who is an amazing single mom, my hero, amazing sister, and friend. Pray for sweet Scarlett who will one day fly planes, and soar in this world. At the age of almost two has made more of an impact in her young life then most grown people. Because life was chosen. Fearless warriors, that will board a plane, go where they need to go, to do whatever it takes to – overcome.
Pray for strength for me. The kind of strength that when the devil messes with my family, he has messed with the wrong woman. To leave my children behind once again, is hitting me hard. Especially knowing they are suffering. Pray for a heavenly wisdom and understanding to simply trust, no matter what the outcome. Pray for protection and healing for my kids. May an army rise up around them to be there in my absence.
If you know you cannot fail,
why not board a plane with one way tickets,
even though the scientific odds are against you?
I know that with faith, I cannot fail.
Will not fail. Not going to happen.
Not on HIS watch.
Set your clocks prayer warriors.
February 8th, Wednesday 3:30 p.m. eastern.
Ready. Set. Pray.
Sarah Hein the Pioneer