The unknown of a person’s life or a circumstance can be a dark, dreary and exhausting place to be. Not knowing the outcome of something, can make a person hard to the core. The mind can become a poisonous sponge soaking in every ounce of negativity around you, making your mind race with doubt that is so strong, it takes over any bit of hope.
The only way to get through a time in your life, when nothing makes sense…is to simply surrender.
I don’t mean give up or quit. Absolutely not. Just the opposite.
What I mean is this, you surrender to our Creator…. Our Savior.
You hand all your fear, doubt, shame, anger, frustration, and dump it right under the cross…. over to JESUS.
Don’t fight your battle of the unknown without HIM.
This opens the gates to allow HIM to enter into your life, so He can perform your miracle, on HIS time, in HIS way.
All you have to do is believe, and receive with a joyful heart.
Sounds too good to be true, doesn’t it?
Of course it does. The problem is, we have become hard with doubt, full of hatred, explosive with anger, that we are missing the point, the answers are right underneath us.
For almost three years, I have watched door after door slammed in my husband’s face. Doctor after Doctor, closing the doors.
I have heard… I’m so sorry that this happened to you…. This is so unusual……
I have never seen this before…… over and over again.
Derek’s been labeled time and time again with a different diagnosis- that never made sense. And within weeks, they would decide, maybe that wasn’t the correct diagnosis.
When I would question Doctor’s I would often find, their pride was hurt when I was questioning them. They were taught a few things really well, and if I went beyond that, it was as if I was insulting them.
They missed what was right underneath them, a chance to help my husband.
Instead I have personally been accused of being an “over –enthusiastic wife” or “not willing to accept the reality,” that this is how Derek’s going to be for the rest of his life.
At first I was offended, hurt, and even sobbed after being “accused” of these things. However, when I stopped and thought about it, I realized….
the Doctors were exactly right.
I AM……. an ENTHUSASTIC WIFE…….. REFUSING TO ACCEPT THE REALITY, and I am taking
COMPLETE OWNERSHIP TO THIS!
To shove my foot in the door that was closing.
To look these Doctor’s in the eyes and tell them,
“I agree to disagree with you, this is not acceptable.
I refuse to believe, that this is how Derek will live for the rest of his life.”
Taking Derek to Dallas, Texas, to Cerebrum Health Centers, National Brain Institute, was the best thing I ever did. It lead us to more answers, which directed us to Florida. Within a few days, after we consulted with some amazing doctors, Derek and I were on a plane to Florida.
The people to help Derek….were literally…..
right under our noses!
It was like God took off the blinders that were on our eyes. Our view that had been obstructed, was now uncovered and we could see.
I truly believe, our agenda in life, wasn’t matching God’s plan for us. So He put the brakes on in our life, big time.
God was refining us.
God IS the author of our life.
He was editing our life.
Without a doubt, I can now see, that the only way for God to get my stubborn bull headed attention and sit my’ hein-y’ down and write,
was to crash my world around me, humbling me to my core and making me solely rely only on HIM.
I write now, to honor God. It was His gift to me and I intend to use it wisely.
I have had to let go of many doctors in this three year challenge. When they stopped searching or looking for Derek, when they stopped thinking outside the box, it was time to move on. During the refinement process, He gave us the strength to be RESILLIENT!
Finally after so long, we have doctors who are with Derek till the ‘end of the beginning!’
Ultimately, it doesn’t really matter. God IS and always will be Derek’s ultimate healer and He has guided us to Dr. Brock and now to Dr. Michelle who has compassionately taken on his case, and won’t give up till answers are found. In the weeks to come, I look forward to giving you more and more updates for Derek’s progress, and overcoming for what has happened to him.
But here’s a sneak peak….
We. Are. Finding. Answers.
Derek has a long road ahead of him. However, in the weeks to come, I’m looking very forward to spilling out exactly what has happened, and the amazing masterpiece of all this is finally coming together. I’m beginning to see, how Derek and I will be able to help so many people and only God could have concocted something so perfect and precise.
As I sit here and think of what this man has endured, I can’t help but to think that God has one outstanding plan for him. Derek is a remarkable person. Always has been. Always will be.
Derek had a choice. He could have become HARD and ANGRY.
Instead Derek became resilient.
When you have faith, you recover so much more quickly from the spiritual toughness God gives you. At the same time, I continue to have a front row seat and watch the example he is to our children. Our two daughters and son, at the same time their dad has been suffering, have also underwent life changing circumstances that have brought tremendous uncertainty in all our lives.
Watching the past few years, my families journey, and all they have endured, makes me think that God is preparing the ultimate masterpiece of an adventurous journey for our family.
Just as the Israelites wandered in the dessert for 40 years, the Lord saw them through their pain.
He DID DELIVER THEM. HE WILL DEVLIEVER US.
HE WILL DELIVER YOU.
The lessons I have learned are so many and great. The pain we have endured, is no worse than the pain thatany of you that are reading this have endured.
Pain is pain.
Don’t underestimate your challenges in life.
This message isn’t to draw attention for Derek, myself, or our family. It is meant to give you all hope, that as we will face great challenges and horrible uncertainties in life.
Simply surrender and let him take your broken pieces and form your MASTERPIECE.
For those of you diagnosed with a serious illness, or a completely broken heart, the loss of a loved one, a tragedy that is unexplainable, where your grief…. pain…… and suffering has swallowed you whole…..
This message today is for you.
Your life, YOU….
God is preparing you!
YOU are HIS MASTERPIECE!
Here’s what I will promise you. I’m not going to give you the speech,
‘life is short make the most of it.’
Don’t get me wrong, LIFE IS SHORT… and you should make the most of it.
However, I’m going to take you to a whole other level of thinking……
Each moment you live, is a beautiful memory weaved and imprinted into a legacy that is printed in God’s book, called YOUR LIFE!
Don’t let this fear you. I know what you may be thinking… but I have had many moments that I’m ashamed of, believe me I understand.
I have so many that I’m writing a series of books on my life.
Remember, our bad moments, are made clean through forgiveness. They were all dumped at the foot of the cross. Jesus blood covered them and purified them.
You matter. You matter so much, that John 3:16 says it all.
“For God so LOVED the WORLD that HE GAVE His ONE and ONLY SON, that WHOEVER BELIEVES, SHALL NOT PERISH but have
This gift is the ultimate sacrifice and most amazing love story of all times.
YOU…. ARE…. LOVED…BEYOND….MEASURE…. TO ETERNITY!
Your imprint in this world is the blueprint of your life. Your blue print is the masterpiece creation of the Creator Himself. He makes NO MISTAKES.
When you look back at the blueprint of your life, ask yourself this:
What do you want your Masterpiece to look like?
A soul with beauty and grace or bitterness and hatred.
A soul with peace and love, or hatred and vengeance.
A soul free of chains and pain, or chained with weights of pain.
A soul filled with a knowing HOPE or ‘boy I sure hope this works out’.
A soul forgiving all those who have hurt us or hurting those we refuse to forgive.
You are a masterpiece. Just accept it. You are a gift and refusing a gift… is rude.
TO BE CONTINUED…….