Not even kidding. As I look out the front of the house, this is what I see.
I have an ark on my front lawn, and it’s in the process of being built.
For those of you that think, wow, she has really lost it, read on and I will explain.
For many years, I have had a life that has been beautiful and blessed beyond measure. I was living in many seasons, for many years of GREAT!
Then in one moment, our season of great ended.
I had to watch all we have worked so hard for, slowly drift away. As a wife and parent, I had to watch my own children and husband, one by one have crisis situations that we had no control over. It was as if a typhoon hit our family and destroyed everything around us. I was left with a front row bleacher seat watching my family spiraling downward into a dark abyss as they went through hardship after hardship, and there was nothing I was able to do, but pray. Humbled to the core, dropped to my knees, it was then, I had a series of conversations with God.
It was in those conversations with God, I felt like I had a walk to remember my past. A true blast from the past, that led to even more conversations with God, until one day, His voice kept speaking to me, so softly, so quietly, and said, “Sarah write.”
I responded quickly by saying, “But God, I can’t write.”
“Sarah write!” God said.
It was that time, I was diagnosed with a disease.
It’s called the…BUT DISEASE.
But God…. I can’t write. I have no experience. I have no idea where to even begin.
But God… I don’t have any time. I’m supporting my family right now.
But God… it’s too painful, I don’t want to write.
But God… when it is rejected, I have had enough rejection in my life, I can’t handle anymore.
But God… I want to keep all this private. There are many things I’m embarrassed and ashamed of.
But God… my family is suffering right now, I’m exhausted, I simply don’t have the energy.
But God… No one would ever want to read this. My life has no significance.
But God… I’m broken. I have nothing left to give. Nothing.
But God…I’m just plain SCARED.
It was then, that HE said, “Sarah, have you forgotten, it wasn’t raining when I had Noah build the ark!”
I sat on that thought, actually for several days and then one day, I couldn’t shake off that thought.
It WASN’T raining when Noah built the ark.Not even a drop. I’m sure Noah had the same “But disease” I have been diagnosed with.
So one day, Sept 12th, 2014, I moved a little desk, into my bedroom, moved my computer, grabbed some notebooks, and told my husband and children…. “Unless someone is dying or dead, when this door is closed…. Don’t come in!”
And. I. Began. To. Write.
Today, is my one year celebration.I have over 600 pages of document manuscript. When I look out my window… the only image I see in my front yard is a huge ark that is in the process of being built! Still, not even a rain cloud in the sky. Still not even a drop of rain. Now God is saying, “Sarah, it is time. I want you to blog.”
The But disease is creeping quickly back in! All I know is the last thing I ever wanted to do was blog and become so completely vulnerable. However, to overcome the BUT disease, I must let go of all the BUTS and BELIEVE in what I cannot see or understand. Just TRUST in what Faith is leading me to do. Even when it makes NO SENSE AT ALL!
SO today, marks my one year anniversary of OVERCOMING the BUT DISEASE! I will see this through. I will write, until HE tells me to stop. Until the rain comes, and my family is safely in the ARK, I will write.
And so….I write…not just one book, but several. A whole series.
I write….until it rains.
Join me…. as I continue to build an ark….to be continued.